Remember that old song, if that’s all there is my friend…then let’s keep dancing….and then something about booze! The author points out that if you’ll let go of all the “ga ga” stories of eternal bliss and be in the moment, you just might realize that a real marriage is far more rewarding.
You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.
The issue with people is - once you’ve mastered what you think you need to master about them, they change. (The alternative; Stepford people. That’s not a pretty thought!) You’re never finished and neither is the hard work of having a healthy marriage.
You will sometimes go to bed mad and wake up even madder!
You will go without sex – sometimes for a long time- and that’s okay.
Say what? The author points out that no matter how drop-dead gorgeous your spouse is, or not…there are times you don’t feel like having sex that have nothing to do with them.
For example, sometime sleep is more important than sex. You are encouraged to not believe what the soap operas portray about intimate regularity and instead find your own rhythm as a couple.
Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
When it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong…just two different ways of looking at things.
A great marriage doesn’t mean a lack of conflict, it simply means a couple is trying to get it right.
Take that Ward and June Cleaver! (Wait, they did have some conflicts about the Beaver!)
You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.
And no matter how noble your efforts as to why the other person should change, this whole tactic is exhausting and just plain doesn’t work.
As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find what you’re really made of.
If you even thought you had issues, you’re going to find out in no uncertain terms you do have issues, and that you are a work in progress. Oh, and look back at number 2 again.
So there you have it… the author’s 8 points and my take on some comments to follow.
Now…before you run off to read the whole article, why not send this to a friend or leave a comment? What point really struck home with you? Feel free to come back and leave a comment after reading it too.
There’s some good discussion here….let’s talk! Redbook article